Okay, that picture is from last winter. It hasn't snowed here yet but it's bound to soon. Can you believe it's December already? I've been working on some hand made gifts for Christmas but it's hard to find large chunks of time to get anything done when you have a baby, though I'm sure that will only get worse when she starts crawling around.
Things have been pretty awesome lately but I keep having these weird breakdown moments. It lasts maybe 2 days and then it passes. I'm not sure if it's still my hormones getting back to normal after the pregnancy or what but it's a real bummer. I get really worked up, a crazy combo of anxious and angry. It's awful. And it's over stupid things really. Like worrying I don't have any real friends and second guessing Julianna's name. (I really wanted to name her September. Julianna was a close second. We were going to officially decide her name when she was born and Will said he wanted it to be Julianna. I blamed the drugs for me saying okay so easily but I honestly liked both names. I don't have any idea why it's still an issue for me.) I even get upset over my blog. How I should just give it up, how my own family doesn't even read it. It's crazy.
Usually in December, I look forward to the Christmas party my mom has, except this year we will be going out to Indiana to visit Will's family so they can see the baby. To be honest, I'm not really looking forward to it. It will be nice to see his Mom and brother but I just feel so awkward all the time. I'm not fluent in Spanish so a lot of the conversation is lost on me. Plus I feel weird staying in other people's houses for an extended period of time. It's also the first big trip with the baby and I have no idea what to expect.
God, this post is such a bummer. I don't really get personal too often on here but everyone who took my survey (thanks for that!) said they like personal posts. I also think I need to share more often, keep things from just festering, which is what I usually do. Ahh, to have normal coping mechanisms. Maybe one day.